I was fired. Not “let go”or “laid off.” I was fired without cause. I was never written up or reprimanded. I’ve run a million scenarios and… still stunned. I love working hard and striving toward perfection. Working hard defined who I am. Who am I without killing myself for my job?
This is the greatest gift I could have ever received. I started to scale back over the last few months due to my illness. I felt guilty despite putting in more than any other employee- even though I could hardly move. I have always told myself- no excuses, work hard because that is who you are. Now, you’ll put in slightly less and it’ll take ten times longer. But, it’s okay because you’ll work hard still.
Other people, who have RA, do triathlons! Although everything felt like a triathlon- waking up throughout the night, fevers, counting the hours and minutes until the alarm would sound, making the trek out of bed, to the bathroom, then to the shower, ugh and then ah screw it I can’t do it! My husband would take over with the washing and dressing. I’m done. Thankfully, I have a wonderful and supportive husband.
I would stay up all hours of the night planning, brainstorming, and thinking of how I could work more. How absurd! It’s time to let it all go…
Working hard will no longer define me and perfection is not real. Rad!