It was just a short time ago when I was on 10mg of methotrexate. It was absolutely terrifying. My husband held my hand tight as I cried each Saturday as I swallowed them. I am concerned with putting harsh chemicals into my body and what it could do to my organs. I am disturbed that I have to do this for the rest of my life. To my surprise, my side effects were not bad at first. I had a mild intestinal issues, headache, dry mouth/eyes, heartburn, and a metallic taste in my mouth. I can handle this! From there, 15mg added mild hair loss. Each trip to the shower I was losing a weeks worth of hair in a day. That has definitely afforded me a pity party a few times! Oh vanity!
Methotrexate has provided some relief. My pain levels decreased and I got some hours where I could almost forget about RA. It’s been three weeks since I started the mega dose of 20mg of methotrexate and I am feeling a bit discouraged. My once mild side effects are now gone. I spend Sundays and Mondays wiped out in bed. I cannot believe the terrible weakness and temporary mild blurred vision I experience. Worst of all, I am in constant pain again. Did it stop working?
I never thought I would say this but, thankfully my husband introduced me to Doctor Who. In the last three Sundays, I have nearly finished the first two seasons with Matt Smith. He is a great Doctor for my spirits. He saved the universe, can he save me too? I dream of him showing up in his blue box and handy screwdriver to talk to, tame, and compromise with RA. After all, RA does seem like an alien who means well.
Only time will tell my future but, I do find myself wanting to travel ahead in time to see where I will be in the next year, 5 years, 10 years, and more. I know where I want to be but, wonder if it will all be possible. I need the Doctor! Doctor?