“Looks young but has an old lady living inside. Treat with care.”

A white haired man at Lowe’s today sprinted to show me a product assuming my young whipper snapper self to keep up. I didn’t. He made it to the item well before me and impatiently waited for me to walk up. What’s with the Olympic sprint? I often lag great lengths behind employees who are assisting me in stores. I just hope I will see where the employee turns or better yet that they slow down. Perhaps I should wear a sign that says “Looks young but has an old lady living inside. Treat with care.”

Speaking of care, I saw my rheumatologist today (I just can’t say rheumy like others- it’s like hubby and I just can’t). He said my rib pain was more than likely cartilage inflammation. I was pretty sure too. Thanks Google! He also told me to be aware (not scared) that heart problems are not impossible, even with young folks like me, and to watch for warning signs. I’ll admit it- it’s scary. I have scared myself multiple times with this new found symptom. After thoroughly reviewing heart attack symptoms to make my self scared… ahem I mean aware… they are quite similar. How would I know? This question is going to plague me for a few days (… weeks… months… or forever?). However, I will not live in fear! I just have to do my best.

I also spoke to him again about pain medication. Last time I uttered pain medication he urgently sent me back to my primary care doctor. When I was allergic to Vicodin, I got Percocet in exchange. I’m not a fan. I feel like a drugged anxious boob AND the pain is still there. My rheumatologist was aggravated with Percocet being prescribed. “That’s highly addictive and causes people a lot of problems.” Not me! I greatly dislike it! Not that I got a choice and he certainly was not supportive in getting me a prescription for something better when Vicodin made me itch through my skin. But today was a new day and he actually gave me a prescription for Tramadol, which sounds an awful lot like cough medicine. He said it’s not a narcotic and is less habit forming. I’m not worried about forming a habit… I don’t like taking ANYTHING. I’ve heard of Tramadol thanks to RA related sites/blogs. I just hope it helps for days where I feel like I am going to lose it.

Oh and in case you were wondering, I’m bra-less! I cannot deal with a band around these painful ribs. Wire or not, it is gone, and I’m not stepping into my torture chamber until this passes. Heck maybe I am just over it forever. They’re just boobs- deal with it world!

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Burn Your Bra!

Recently I’ve developed a feminist burn your bra urge and sometimes rage. It’s hot, it’s uncomfortable… in fact it HURTS, and it needs to burn! I want to burn all my bras. Why does this bizarre contraption exist? Are nipples really THAT offensive? Do breasts REALLY need support? Or is this just a terrible cultural thing? If so society needs to GET OVER IT!

How did this thought suddenly emerge? Sure, I have had frustrating moments when I wear a dress that requires a strapless bra. The entire time I fight and feel the feminist rage emerge inside me. But this time it’s different. It’s been several weeks that I have genuinely considered boycotting bras, publicly protesting their use, and convincing other women to do the same.

I had a realization that I had this same feeling about high heels, low heels, any heels. It turned out heels are not this evil contraption and that it was just me. It was me unknowingly living with RA. My chest/rib cage has ached for several weeks. I’ve come close to having my husband take me to urgent care to make sure my organs (heart/lungs) are safe. It’s a scary kind of pain because of the location. The increasing number of Humira commercials don’t help and instead make me scared of the lengthy complications. HGTV seems to have an absurd number of commercials for RA meds (…and like many other women, HGTV is my favorite channel. We are the target audience and many of us are also RA sufferers!)! AHHHHHH! Instead of heading to urgent care or the ER I have turned to my great friend Google and discovered costochondritis which can occur with RA. I have no idea if this is the actual problem (though it makes sense) but fortunately I see my doctor this week for help. I’m also super thankful to all of the RA bloggers in the world. This blog saved me from heading to urgent care. I’m okay. I hurt and am uncomfortable. I’m sure this too will pass.

To end on an exciting note, I have managed to do a lot of gardening! Even on some of my bad days (depending on the joint) I head out and all in the world feels beautiful! I have a nifty gardening seat and a green thumb! It has been a great form of meditation! Check out my some of my photos from my garden below including my Dwarf Teddy Bear Sunflowers and Cone Flowers! Rad!

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